Tonight is the kids‘ night. We will go to the Dom, a huge funfair with loads of rollercoasters, thrill rides, food stalls, games… All together a whole messed up crazy fun world of neon signs, cotton candy and teenagers in love. A place where you have already been without actually having been there. It is lovely and horrible, an expensive night in which you pay for both eating and throwing up. Because I’m aware of that, I set a budget: each of the kids can spend 20€ on whatever they want. (Which will probably be enough for a rollercoaster ride and a handful of fries – Man, the prices are ridiculous!)

As soon as we set foot on the Dom our eyes and our minds go split paths: while we talk and discuss what to do, our eyes wander around restlessly, constantly distracted by something new. From neon green to neon yellow, from Buy-one-get-one-for-free to Kalle’s-fried-fish.

We walk around and the kids stop in front of the bumper car ride. “Mama! We want to take a ride!” I nod approvingly, no crazy neck-breaking-over-head-looping-rollercoaster, just good old bumper cars. I buy coins and hand them over.

Let’s do this!

“But Mama! Now you don’t have any!” Yeah, that’s correct. I’ll sit over there and let you two have fun! “Maaaamaaaa! Pleeeeaaasee!” No, I don’t see the point of wasting coins you two could use, my time bumper car riding is over and that’s fine by me. “No. I won’t go without you!” Oh come on! Now they start chanting simultaneously: “Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma!”

Dear lord, I think to myself. Alright, I’ll do it, I just didn’t want to waste your money! “No, you’re not, let’s have fun together!” Who raised these children? They are so wonderful! My heart pumps some deep motherly love through me and my mood rises. “Let’s do this!”

It’s way more fun this way!

We sit down in the cars and the ride begins. First we just go in circles, it’s alright, but pretty boring. And another round. Then my son does a 180° turn, smiles at me with a tiny mad shimmer (that seems oddly familiar) in his eyes, his smile turns into a grin. “It’s way more fun this way!!” He speeds up, avoids upcoming cars, bumps into some, looses control, hits the boards, looks up, and goes into the wrong direction full speed again. “ Hey there! Stop that now!!” The operator screams at him. I turn my car around, too and start maneuvering through traffic, hitting people, being tossed around. Before I know it I shout and I scream and giggle, laugh out loud!

I feel like somebody I want to be more often

And although my original motivation were my kids, I zoom into the moment, and there’s just me screaming, giggeling, laughing. I feel so wild and free, I feel like somebody I want to be more often.

When we get out of the ride, the operator is furious and sends us off his property but we have wings and float off.

Get over my “grown-upness”

Driving bumpercar and riding against the tide were two simple decisions, both every-day ones, but still ones I don’t make enough. I didn’t need to be brave to do it, I just had to get over my “grown-upness”. Why are grown-ups so grown-up? Why can’t we all just follow the shouting and hysterical child inside of us, riding against the tide? Even if we feel a tiny bit sick afterwards.

Just do it!