We want a YES

We don’t want “No” for an answer; we want “Yes” and an open door. We want people to offer us champagne. We want a red carpet rolled out in front of us that leads to a giant YES-monument. But, sorry, that’s not what’s going to happen. And we know it, right? So we just try to avoid the Nos, because every No reminds a tiny fraction of our brain of Nos we’ve been confronted with, the rejections we’ve had to cope with.

Ask the question!

We try everything we can to avoid the No. We don’t ask questions because we know the answer. We figure it’s too rainy to rent a paddle boat anyways. We don’t knock on the door of the supermarket, because two minutes after eight means it’s closed.

What a hassle! Before we do anything our mind constructs possible outcomes for the situation, trying to evaluate whether there might be rejection lurking somewhere. And because we are suspicious and very eager to prevent being hurt, our mind finds potential rejection. To then mark it with a bright pink highlighter. After that our top priority is to avoid the Pink and we’d do anything to avoid the Pink!

Pink is your comfort zone

Actually the mind does more. It’s all crazy for the Pink and marks every other spot in our life with it, eventually surrounding us with the Pink. And you know what that Pink Circle is? No, it’s not a pentagram to summon Satan (Although I’d have some questions for him.). Yep. The Pink’s your comfort zone.

If there’s one things I hate, it’s limits. Especially limits you create yourself, unknowingly. Limits that stop you, that make you small and nearly invisible. Limits that say you, you don’t need to try, nobody will help you to reach your goal. The Pink is a big big limit in our life. But guess what? We can trick ourselves around it in the least expected but psychologically and educationally most valued way: a game.

The Rejection game

Now, you probably say: No, Nadja, I am not willing to play games. We grown women and men are too old for games. We’re more about statistics and a glass of red wine while reading Die Zeit. And in the minute you say this “no” to me, I won the game :-P

Listen and repeat: Games are intuitive, soul revealing, exploring yourself (or yourselves) on an abstract, entertaining level. They are especially for grown women and men! And the Rejection game is nether too absurd nor too funny. It is 100% serious. For serious grown women and men only.

Made for you

For this game we switch our priorities around, at least once a day: Stop running from the No, run for it! This time you don’t want Yes, you want to cannonball into the Pink. No is what you’re looking for! If you get a “no”, you win. (And if you get a “yes”, you get something you really looked for).

An example. There is a very smart and successful lady, I am receiving her newsletter and reading every blog article she is writing. I am learning from her a lot. One day, a newsletter says: “Don’t dream to small”: And I write her a e-mail, saying, my dream is to get her as my mentor. On the one hand, I really would like to get her help, on the other, I am playing Rejection game: If she says “no”, I win, at least, the game.

And guess what? She is my mentor now! I am proud student, three months for free.

Happy me

Start to play every day. Start with something small: an extra cookie for your coffee maybe? Or something you’ve always wanted to do, but thought to be too weird: can I sit in your Jaguar for a moment? Or ask that good-looker on the street for his number! Ask for everything that comes into your mind, train your brain to be bold, to be self-confident. The universe is full with abundance, use it!

Leave your comfort zone

Because what can happen, really? Two possible outcomes: 1. an irritated look, a disapproving head-shake, rejection. 2. An irritated look, a smile and an extra cookie. For either outcome to become reality you must dive deeply into the dreaded Pink. When you surface you are either confronted with a No or a Yes. But either one of these is far beyond the Pink and brings you closer to your personal happiness and a stronger self-confidence.

So go No-hunting in alien hunting-grounds far off the Pink, be happy for any No you receive and be happy for every Yes you receive. They are both prey worth leaving your comfort zone for!

 

P.S.: More about in German HERE

P.P.S.: If you need some suggestions for rejection game, please contact me :-)